Mind Vomit by the ikss

the loser trifecta

Hello.

Yes, I know. It’s been a long time. Whatever, let’s move along.

Personal update: I have finally succeeded in my apparent attempts to become a total loser. Not only am I still unemployed, but I completed the Loser Trifecta in February by losing my apartment and my boyfriend, all in one fell swoop! So yay for me! 

I’m expecting the award any day now. It had to be sent out for engraving, you know.

There’s just ... not a lot to say about this development. It was inevitable. I made a choice to pursue writing as a career, in spite of the stress it was obviously putting on my finances and my relationship. I will only say that I am still content with that choice, even living as I am now in my brunette sister’s spare bedroom, down the hall from the most inconsiderate step-nephew one could ever imagine, and the various skanks he parades past my locked door on a nightly basis. 

So that says something.

On the subject of my employment (or lack thereof), I actually have been looking for a job. I started looking last September, as that was the one-year anniversary of my unemployment and I swore to devote one year solely to my writing. Let me tell ya ... and this may be a newsflash ... There are very few jobs out there, people. And nobody is responding to the resume’s I send for the few I do qualify for.

It’s kind of scary.

But let’s discuss what’s important. And no, I don’t mean the GOPs insane and inhumane budget proposals. I mean, of course, my novel. Or, more accurately my novels.

constipation

You'd think I'd remember eating the 13 bricks which are now apparently lodged in my lower intestine...

 

UPDATE: I think the bricks are now joining together in an effort to build an outdoor barbecue similar to that built by Lucy and Ethel...

Lucy & Ethel build a BBQ

twific rec—all that jazz

So yeah ... I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, now. I want to talk about few fics that should be read by ... well, I was going to say anyone who loves Twilight fanfiction, but honestly? These stories should be read by everyone who likes to read. They are just good stories; well-written and with plots I connect to for one reason or another. All three are All-Human stories and while the characters might be named Edward, Bella, Jasper et al, they will still mean something to you, even if you didn’t read the books and don’t get the little winks to canon which may be hidden within their text (these winks are more prominent in one story than in the others). I have three stories I am going to write about, here, and will tackle one story each, over the next three blog entries.

When it comes to Twific, I am not picky about what I will read. I don’t eschew any particular “ship” (character relationships, for those of you who might not be up on the fandom lingo); I like vamp stores as well as AH ones; I like fluff, I like angst, I like humor,  I like romance, I like mystery—basically, I like anything, so long as I think it is well-written and it pulls me in. These days, I generally pick what to read based on the recommendations of friends and the occasional blog, but I have been known to just peruse and see what’s out there. I look for originality; I look for fully- and well-developed characters. 

I will start with a story that I read about on some blog or another many months ago. It has actually been written about on several blogs and deservedly so, as it is really wonderful. However, in spite of the publicity it has garnered, for some reason it still does not have as large an audience as it deserves.

Title: All That Jazz
Author: Javamomma0921
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5928431/1/All_That_Jazz
Completed? No
Summary: AH/AU Set in 1919. Meet orphan sisters, Bella and Alice Swan, as they journey to Chicago to meet their Aunt Esme, brazen, disowned sister of their mother. Join Bella as she learns the true meaning of marriage and love. M for adult themes and later lemons.
Suggested Accessories While Reading: Flapper dress, bob hairdo, a derby, picnic basket, a victrola
Suggested Cocktail While Reading: Gin Martini (two olives) or a tall, cold lemonade

(In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that I act as a pre-reader/beta for this story. However, I loved it before I ever started acting in this capacity. It is because I love the story so much, in fact, that I started stalking and harassing PM’ing javamomma0921 and eventually became a pre-reader.)

little ashes where my television used to be

As some readers might recall, I have been without a television for many months, now. A year, actually. As some other readers may have surmised, this has been quite a hardship on my psyche. Traditionally and since I was but a wee child, I have watched much, much television. I blogged about it frequently. I had distinct opinions about the relationship between Audrina and Justin Bobby. I had many a conversation by the water cooler about who should be America’s Next Top Model. Therefore, the lack of boob tube activity in the ikss-household has been rather distressing.

I have discovered Hulu, which has kept me supplied with the latest episodes of 30 Rock and Modern Family and also introduced me this year to the absurdly funny and oddly touching Raising Hope (bringing back to the airwaves the delightful Martha Plimpton, whose work I grew up with and who looks crazy good—far better than she did when we were teens). Hulu can be unreliable, however, as has been proven in the cases of Top Chef and all of the Real Housewives shows. They don’t always show all of the episodes and/or might show them out of order.

I can watch The Amazing Race on the CBS website, thank God. I am waiting for the latest season of some shows—Nurse Jackie, Hung, True Blood—to come out on DVD. This does not make me happy, but such is the life of the Unemployed Bum.

The Old Man has Apple TV and, as such, can purchase television shows if we deem them worth the investment. We therefore purchased one of our favorites—Rescue Me—and watched it right along with the rest of you normal people with regular televisions did. Frankly, I was disappointed in this past season, but that is not what this blog entry is about.

Though, were I honest, I would admit that I sort of lost track of the direction of this blog entry like two paragraphs ago.

All evidence to the contrary and good-natured whining aside, I actually don’t miss my television very much at all. When I spend the night elsewhere and have the opportunity to watch it, I rarely even find something worth the watching. Though the lack of television does offer me a lot of time for reading, I would love to say I’ve developed a new hobby, have devoted extra time to volunteering or have had the time to finish writing not one but two novels. None of these things are true. The truth is, I just use Netflix a lot more now than I used to.

Let’s peruse my recent Netflix activity, shall we?

sex trafficking victim shoots her pimp & gets life in prison?

From @Change.org:

Free Sex Trafficking Victim Sara Kruzan

Sara, who was once her elementary school's student body president, met the man who would become her pimp when she was just 11. After acting as the father figure she never had for two years, he raped Sara at age 13 and trafficked her into the commercial sex trade.

For the next 3 years, from 6pm to 6am, strangers would pay Sara's pimp to rape her and other adolescent girls he recruited and preyed upon.

Finally, physically and psychologically traumatized, Sara snapped. She shot and killed her pimp.

Her punishment? Life in prison without the possibility of parole.

The sentence was handed down by a judge in 1994 against the recommendation of the California Youth Authority, and before there was much awareness about the violence of child trafficking or an appreciation for the trauma of adolescent sexual and physical abuse.

The sentence was extreme and unjust. And it can now be overturned by one man: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Governor Schwarzenegger is leaving office at the end of the year, and will soon be considering clemency petitions. In response, there is a grassroots movement building to call on Governor Schwarzenegger to commute Sara's sentence to time served.

Join the movement to ask Governor Schwarzenegger to free Sara Kruzan now.

Tragically, the sexual exploitation Sara suffered is not unique. But what makes her case especially poignant is not just the injustice of her life sentence, but her response. 

Rather than descend in hopelessness, Sara has found redemption in jail and become an inspiration to all those around her. She has graduated from high school, is on her way to completing her college degree, and started the prison's Committee for Youth to serve as a mentor to younger women. She was recently voted "Woman of the Year" at her prison. 

However, without intervention from Governor Schwarzenegger, Sara will likely die in prison.

Don't let this happen. Sara has more than paid her debt to society with 16 years of incarceration. It's time to set her free.

Call on Governor Schwarzenegger to free Sara Kruzan now.

For more information on Sara's case, click here. 

 

the great wall of china of tampons (or, my tampon is better than your tampon)

Any men who follow this blog may want to skip this next entry. I will be discussing a woman’s Red Tent time. As I am assuming this grosses you out to even ponder briefly, I will understand your not wanting to read the rest of this post. Should you chose to continue reading, however, I will not be held responsible for said grossing-out.

I recently purchased an entire box of defective OB Tampons. Well, in truth it’s not the tampons that are defective. It’s the little plastic wrappers that go around them.

And before we go any further, I know: Ooh, gross! OB’s don’t have applicators! That means you have to put your finger all up in your business! Eeeeewwwww....

I understand these tampons make you squeamish. I’ve had this conversation in many a break room across Corporate America over the years. But trust me on this one, ladies: Ain’t nothin’ getting past that OB Tampon. I’ve used all kinds of tampons in my many years on this planet. We’ve all had to break down and buy one out of a public restroom vending machine (assuming it’s stocked and nobody has stuffed the quarter receptacle thingamabob with gum), or we start our period unawares while at our friend’s party and have to use one of hers. I even worked for a company for a while who supplied us with free tampons. They had a huge box of them in the restroom and they kept it stocked (napkins, too, by the way, though if you could walk around with one of those things between your legs, you must have grown up riding horses). I know, right? Screw the 401k—the tampons were the greatest benefit of that job. I have to admit that I could not justify spending money on OB tampons when I could get “others” for free. For that several-year-stretch, I used an off brand. But I had some extra vodka money.  Anyway, OB tampons are the only ones I would trust without wearing a sanitary napkin to catch delightful “surprises”; and really, what is the point of wearing a tampon if you have to wearing the friggin’ 2x4 between your legs anyway?