Well, after working on this exercise, I am sadly reminded that I am not at all creative…
I say ... and you think ... ?
1. Goodbye :: Hasta
2. Cage :: Bars
3. Buddy :: Pal
4. Magic words :: Wand
5. Library :: Space
6. Fall in love :: Flutter
7. Tense :: Ache
8. Work! :: Interruption
9. Empty :: Air
10. Heat wave :: Ugh!
So anyway…we did not get the cute house on the hill that I wanted. I am bummed, but at least it’s all settled and we know now where we’re moving to next weekend. So I spent this morning having my utilities transferred and all of that fun stuff.
My weekend was fun and busy. And friggin hot as blazes, let me tell you. I don’t know where you live, fair reader, but in Southern California, we’re coming out of a heat wave like no other. Saturday morning, I got my hair done. I get my hair done by a gal who operates her business in the same city my parents live in. It’s 45 miles inland from where I live. I still go to her not because she is a genius with my hair or anything, but because she is kind of a friend of mine and when I have a hair appointment, I can also go see my parents on the same trip. The proverbial two birds with one stone, you understand.
Anyway, if it was hot at my house this weekend, it was f’n HOT over there in the foothills. It was a good fifteen degrees hotter over there than at my pad. We’re talking triple digits. Good thing my parent’s air conditioning works fabulously.
Plus, in this weather, my mom finally warmed up. She’s been freezing cold every day for like three years straight. And I do not exaggerate this point.
After my hair was again magically turned to a lovely shade of red, I stopped by my parents pad to chat for a while before heading for home and I discovered they were having their house painted. Those poor painter-guys had been working at their place since Wednesday. Now, I understand they were getting paid, but…did I mention the triple-digit weather? Yikes.
After a short visit with the folks, I went home and got ready for The Old Man’s niece’s wedding.
OK…let me just say that the wedding was very nice. The Old Man’s niece looked extremely beautiful and although I don’t know her new husband, he seems like a good guy. To my knowledge, nobody got drunk and made embarrassing speeches about the groom’s past sex life or anything of that nature (dammit!).
However…this was such a stereotypical Catholic wedding, with the full-on mass and standing and sitting and standing and kneeling and standing and then sitting again. And of course, the church had no air conditioning. It was about a thousand degrees in there. Everyone was all dressed up in their suits and pantyhose, with sweat just pouring down their faces and their backs (odd note of interest – I did not sweat during the ceremony!).
My main beef had nothing to do with the heat, however, which nobody could do anything about. My beef was - somebody really should have spoken to these kids about their choice of music for the wedding. They had three different quasi-mariachi songs playing at different parts of the ceremony. Now, I have no problem at all with mariachi music; in fact, I love it. But these songs sounded incredibly inappropriate (like, let’s party! And can we exchange that communion wine for tequila?). More importantly, they were all sung by the same guy and they were all sung very much out of tune! I was cringing the entire time. I looked around to see where the music was coming from; to see what unfortunate soul was sweating in his suit at the back of the church, so overcome with nervousness that he could not hold a tune…but there was nobody. This music was pre-recorded. Pre-recorded, off-key mariachi music.
And finally, in another example of the reasons why the ikss will be going to hell when she dies, throughout the ceremony I was confronted by a huge vagina on the wall.
OK, maybe it wasn’t really a huge vagina. Maybe it was really a painting of Our Lady of Guadalupe, complete with a halo all around her. But I am telling you, that halo made the whole painting look suspiciously vaginal. Which of course made me giggle inappropriately at various points throughout the ceremony.
Yesterday, we packed. And we had Mexican food for breakfast. And then we packed. Then I went to the market. Then we had some ice cream. Then we packed some more. Then I cracked open a bottle of champagne, so we could drink while we packed. Then I went through my make-up drawer and threw out old make-up I will never use again. Then we packed some more.
You get the picture.
In the end, I may have lost out on the house I wanted, but I also found out this weekend that George Clooney is single again. So all hope is not lost.
Comments