OK. I am going to vent a wee bit here…because it’s my bloggy and I’ll cry if I want to!
Before I get going, let me just say that I know I am being totally stupid and catty about this whole thing and I am almost over it. Almost. But it was kind of a kick in my stomach when it first happened (last weekend, while I was in Napa having an otherwise lovely and highly entertaining weekend, I might add. This episode pretty much ruined my disposition for an entire evening).
Although, this may be a key indicator as to why I have never attempted to get anything I’ve written published. Apparently, I am uber-sensitive and rejection makes my stomach hurt.
Allow me to ‘splain…
Several weeks ago, I decided to start writing a novel. It has been many moons since I have attempted such a feat, but I had what I thought was a good idea (finally!) and as I believe I have written here recently, I am determined to try and get something of mine published by the Summer of 2010. It may not end up being this particular novel; it may. I have not decided yet. At any rate, the words have been flowing rather freely and I am happy about that. I am also happy to report that I am actually pleased with what I have written, thus far. That is pretty much a minor miracle.
Because I have not written in novel form for some time, I am understandably a bit insecure about my ability to do so and to do so well. I have not been able to find a writer’s workshop in the area in which I live, and that is what I really crave. I long for the input of other writers. I have shared a few chapters with a few people and they have liked what they’ve read (or so they tell me…one never knows if others are sparing your feelings about such things). I have also posted a few chapters at a couple of different writers’ sites, but have received only a few comments. While those comments have been positive, I am again hesitant to fully take to heart a comment who states, “Hey great chapter!” and that’s the only and last thing I hear. I appreciate the kudos, don’t get me wrong; but from a writer’s perspective – that’s not a lot of help. I would prefer to hear what, specifically, you appreciated. Were there any grammatical stumbling blocks? Anything you didn’t understand? I need information like that – details about the technical stuff that writers (or voracious readers) would focus on.
Before I get going, let me just say that I know I am being totally stupid and catty about this whole thing and I am almost over it. Almost. But it was kind of a kick in my stomach when it first happened (last weekend, while I was in Napa having an otherwise lovely and highly entertaining weekend, I might add. This episode pretty much ruined my disposition for an entire evening).
Although, this may be a key indicator as to why I have never attempted to get anything I’ve written published. Apparently, I am uber-sensitive and rejection makes my stomach hurt.
Allow me to ‘splain…
Several weeks ago, I decided to start writing a novel. It has been many moons since I have attempted such a feat, but I had what I thought was a good idea (finally!) and as I believe I have written here recently, I am determined to try and get something of mine published by the Summer of 2010. It may not end up being this particular novel; it may. I have not decided yet. At any rate, the words have been flowing rather freely and I am happy about that. I am also happy to report that I am actually pleased with what I have written, thus far. That is pretty much a minor miracle.
Because I have not written in novel form for some time, I am understandably a bit insecure about my ability to do so and to do so well. I have not been able to find a writer’s workshop in the area in which I live, and that is what I really crave. I long for the input of other writers. I have shared a few chapters with a few people and they have liked what they’ve read (or so they tell me…one never knows if others are sparing your feelings about such things). I have also posted a few chapters at a couple of different writers’ sites, but have received only a few comments. While those comments have been positive, I am again hesitant to fully take to heart a comment who states, “Hey great chapter!” and that’s the only and last thing I hear. I appreciate the kudos, don’t get me wrong; but from a writer’s perspective – that’s not a lot of help. I would prefer to hear what, specifically, you appreciated. Were there any grammatical stumbling blocks? Anything you didn’t understand? I need information like that – details about the technical stuff that writers (or voracious readers) would focus on.
Additionally, in recent weeks I have become rather obsessed with Twilight fan fiction. I know – it’s very odd; at least for me. A) I hate reading on the computer and 2) well…it’s fan fiction. The hell? Isn’t fan fiction written by pimply 16 year-old drama geeks with unhealthy obsessions with fictional characters?
My own obsession began when one of my blog readers pointed out a very funny blog piece written in “what if?” scenarios for some of the key characters in Twilight (i.e. what if Edward and Emmett were watching porn together?). It was hilarious and linked to that piece was a page which recommended some Twilight fan fiction. I had nothing better to do and so read a few “one shots” or short stories which, while they included characters from Twilight, were very different from that original novel/series. While yes, some of what I read was complete tripe and some was essentially dressed-up plagiarism, one or two of these one-shots were well-written and entertaining. I was intrigued.
Then I made the mistake of starting to read Wide Awake, by a woman whose pen-name is angstgoddess003. I can’t believe I would read something by somebody who calls herself fucking angstgoddess, but that unfortunate pen-name aside…this is a really, really good story. It has nothing at all to do with Twilight, except that her characters have the same names. She has some technical issues with her writing (a lot of them, actually), but she is an amateur and it’s not like she’s getting paid to post this story online. And, you know – in the real world, an editor would catch all of that stuff. If you are not a stickler for grammatical errors and the like, I heartily recommend spending your weekend weeding through the 49 chapters she has posted. The story is great and she has finely drawn characters I love and truly care about.
One warning – it is not finished. She has a chapter or two left to go and it has not been updated in like six weeks. The wait is killing me!
Also? It turns out not all fan fiction is written by 16 year old social outcasts*. Some of it is written by actual adults and some of it is really good. I have enjoyed my foray in to Twilight fan fiction far more than I enjoyed the actual Twilight series of books; or the movie, for that matter. There are a lot of creative people out there. Plus, I have read some seriously steamy stuff and seeing as we all know my state of mind of late, I’m sure you can imagine my joy at that little surprise. *ahem*
While there may be far more, I have discovered a couple of sites which are devoted exclusively to various forms of fan fiction and one of which is devoted to Twilight. I am not going to link to them, only because I don’t want the catty comments I am about to make to make it back to them. As I inferred from the get-go – the issue I have is really my issue.
Distressed by the lack of serious feedback I have been receiving on my novel, I decided to tweak it a little bit, so that I could post it on one of these sites. It did not take much tweaking, other than changing names and only a couple of details. Mine is not a vampire story, but there is a whole world of Twilight fan fiction out there which is All-Human-All-The-Time.
I know, right? Who knew?
The site I chose makes you go through a whole approval process before your story can be posted. They make you run each chapter through a “beta” which is essentially an online editor. What qualifies one to be a “beta”? Um…apparently, if you say you’re a beta and you have time to read a bunch of stories and provide constructive criticism, you are one.
I honestly hesitated before submitting the first chapter of my now-tweaked novel to this site. I did not want my story to go through a beta. Not because I think I am beyond editing – quite the contrary – I just didn’t trust the betas who work for this particular site.
I have now read dozens of stories on this site – stories which are riddled to varying degrees with grammatical errors, punctuation errors, inconsistent tense and just basic typos. If these things were not caught, what the hell good are these betas anyway? And what exactly do they do to these stories?
Obviously, I decided it was worth the risk and I submitted anyway. The amount of feedback I was sure to get via this site was astronomical compared to the measly few comments I had thus far received at the other sites on which I’d posted and that was the key for me. Plus, knowing it would be posted at a fan fiction site and thus have a very different audience than I’d thought about before made me look at my novel from a very different point of view and that was inspiring.
So I submitted my first chapter. And I waited. And waited. I waited for two weeks (I’m sure they get a lot of submissions – there so many new and on-going stories being posted at that site every day, it is truly dizzying). Finally, last weekend, I received an email from one of the site administrators.
Telling me that my story had been rejected.
Now, I understand that one person’s story may not be for everyone – seriously, I do. I don’t expect that everybody is going to adore everything I write. What got to me was the reason my chapter was rejected. I was told that there are issues with the tense in which I wrote it – you know, past tense, present tense, future tense. Apparently, it was not consistent. I was told to review some information on their site, for assistance with my technical problems.
Excuse me?
Seriously, kids – I poured over that first chapter repeatedly, in an effort to see where I had mixed tenses. I had two brilliant family members do the same. There is absolutely no evidence of my changing tenses.
As if.
But what really gets me is how many stories I read at that site which not only change tenses, but have all of the other errors I mentioned previously. And you are going to reject mine? Mine, which has none of these issues????? I decided to write this blog entry now because I was reading a rather popular story in which the author repeatedly changes tenses. It’s distracting and highly annoying and why the hell did this crap get published and mine did not?
I think the real issue is just that my story was not this particular administrator/beta’s cup of tea and not right for that site. Which is fine. Really. But why give me some bullshit critique as if you know what you are talking about, when you so obviously do not?
See? I’m totally being stupid about this. But honestly, I feel so much better having gotten that off my chest.
*Not to dis the 16 year old social outcasts out there. I, myself, was one and in many ways I am still a 16 year old social outcast.
My own obsession began when one of my blog readers pointed out a very funny blog piece written in “what if?” scenarios for some of the key characters in Twilight (i.e. what if Edward and Emmett were watching porn together?). It was hilarious and linked to that piece was a page which recommended some Twilight fan fiction. I had nothing better to do and so read a few “one shots” or short stories which, while they included characters from Twilight, were very different from that original novel/series. While yes, some of what I read was complete tripe and some was essentially dressed-up plagiarism, one or two of these one-shots were well-written and entertaining. I was intrigued.
Then I made the mistake of starting to read Wide Awake, by a woman whose pen-name is angstgoddess003. I can’t believe I would read something by somebody who calls herself fucking angstgoddess, but that unfortunate pen-name aside…this is a really, really good story. It has nothing at all to do with Twilight, except that her characters have the same names. She has some technical issues with her writing (a lot of them, actually), but she is an amateur and it’s not like she’s getting paid to post this story online. And, you know – in the real world, an editor would catch all of that stuff. If you are not a stickler for grammatical errors and the like, I heartily recommend spending your weekend weeding through the 49 chapters she has posted. The story is great and she has finely drawn characters I love and truly care about.
One warning – it is not finished. She has a chapter or two left to go and it has not been updated in like six weeks. The wait is killing me!
Also? It turns out not all fan fiction is written by 16 year old social outcasts*. Some of it is written by actual adults and some of it is really good. I have enjoyed my foray in to Twilight fan fiction far more than I enjoyed the actual Twilight series of books; or the movie, for that matter. There are a lot of creative people out there. Plus, I have read some seriously steamy stuff and seeing as we all know my state of mind of late, I’m sure you can imagine my joy at that little surprise. *ahem*
While there may be far more, I have discovered a couple of sites which are devoted exclusively to various forms of fan fiction and one of which is devoted to Twilight. I am not going to link to them, only because I don’t want the catty comments I am about to make to make it back to them. As I inferred from the get-go – the issue I have is really my issue.
Distressed by the lack of serious feedback I have been receiving on my novel, I decided to tweak it a little bit, so that I could post it on one of these sites. It did not take much tweaking, other than changing names and only a couple of details. Mine is not a vampire story, but there is a whole world of Twilight fan fiction out there which is All-Human-All-The-Time.
I know, right? Who knew?
The site I chose makes you go through a whole approval process before your story can be posted. They make you run each chapter through a “beta” which is essentially an online editor. What qualifies one to be a “beta”? Um…apparently, if you say you’re a beta and you have time to read a bunch of stories and provide constructive criticism, you are one.
I honestly hesitated before submitting the first chapter of my now-tweaked novel to this site. I did not want my story to go through a beta. Not because I think I am beyond editing – quite the contrary – I just didn’t trust the betas who work for this particular site.
I have now read dozens of stories on this site – stories which are riddled to varying degrees with grammatical errors, punctuation errors, inconsistent tense and just basic typos. If these things were not caught, what the hell good are these betas anyway? And what exactly do they do to these stories?
Obviously, I decided it was worth the risk and I submitted anyway. The amount of feedback I was sure to get via this site was astronomical compared to the measly few comments I had thus far received at the other sites on which I’d posted and that was the key for me. Plus, knowing it would be posted at a fan fiction site and thus have a very different audience than I’d thought about before made me look at my novel from a very different point of view and that was inspiring.
So I submitted my first chapter. And I waited. And waited. I waited for two weeks (I’m sure they get a lot of submissions – there so many new and on-going stories being posted at that site every day, it is truly dizzying). Finally, last weekend, I received an email from one of the site administrators.
Telling me that my story had been rejected.
Now, I understand that one person’s story may not be for everyone – seriously, I do. I don’t expect that everybody is going to adore everything I write. What got to me was the reason my chapter was rejected. I was told that there are issues with the tense in which I wrote it – you know, past tense, present tense, future tense. Apparently, it was not consistent. I was told to review some information on their site, for assistance with my technical problems.
Excuse me?
Seriously, kids – I poured over that first chapter repeatedly, in an effort to see where I had mixed tenses. I had two brilliant family members do the same. There is absolutely no evidence of my changing tenses.
As if.
But what really gets me is how many stories I read at that site which not only change tenses, but have all of the other errors I mentioned previously. And you are going to reject mine? Mine, which has none of these issues????? I decided to write this blog entry now because I was reading a rather popular story in which the author repeatedly changes tenses. It’s distracting and highly annoying and why the hell did this crap get published and mine did not?
I think the real issue is just that my story was not this particular administrator/beta’s cup of tea and not right for that site. Which is fine. Really. But why give me some bullshit critique as if you know what you are talking about, when you so obviously do not?
See? I’m totally being stupid about this. But honestly, I feel so much better having gotten that off my chest.
*Not to dis the 16 year old social outcasts out there. I, myself, was one and in many ways I am still a 16 year old social outcast.
SO reading this made me realize I have not had time to read your book at all. In my defense, I haven't had time to read ANYTHING, even from the stack of books that is towering next to (and as high as) our television. Sorry. I'll get on that and provide what actual feedback I can!!!
Posted by: katie | Friday, June 12, 2009 at 04:35 PM
oof, not a pleasant scenario! that does NOT sound right!!! getting rejected by a fanfic site where other posted entries are error-filled or worse just sounds like there is something wrong with this world.
after finishing the twilight series i had to swear off twilight fanfic because I HATED IT SO BAD and never wanted to read another word about Bella, unless she died because I detest her so much. Does any of the fanfic have her dying?
Posted by: Lusty Reader | Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 08:45 AM
hahahaha! Not that I have read...but I will say I have read many versions of her character (and Edward's, who I detested until like the end of book 3 when my pure hatred for him turned to only mild dislike) which are far less annoying. I think most of us have the same complaints about her so when these writers wrote their own stories, they made her stronger and more confident. Most of them, anyway. If she's messed up in the head, as she is in Wide Awake, there is a good reason for it and that fact is explored.
I have no logical explanation for my obsession, except to say that really the stories I read bear little-to-no resemblance to the original books. I am distressed, though, because now my pile of real books that I need to read just keeps growing because I am using so much of my reading time online.
Plus, I think my old man is starting to think I am having some internet love-affair...
Posted by: ikss / Karen | Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 09:21 AM
That's probably the exact reason your story was rejected--prevailing opinion seems to be that the validation process there is capricious at best.
Now I want to read your book.
Posted by: wickedcicada | Friday, October 23, 2009 at 08:07 PM