It’s time once again for…TMI Thursday!
It should come as no surprise to anyone that I have a picture of The Old Man on my desk at work. In truth, I have several. There are a couple of the two of us on my bulletin board (including the one of us on top of his motorcycle, wearing Santa hats) and on my desk itself stands a large frame which houses four photographs of his righteous self. They were each taken outside and each during one of our various trips together and at various times in the last thirteen years (which means his hair is a lot less grey in a couple of them than it is now).
Generally speaking, these photos have essentially just become part of the furniture around here. They’ve been on my desk for years and The OM himself has been a part of my life for such a long time that it would be either insane or pathetic (or both) for me to sit and stare at the pictures for extended periods of time. Or any time, for that matter. However, I will on occasion take a gander at the hotness that is my beloved. And when I do so, one of these four photos makes me laugh almost every time.
It’s an older photo, taken during Phase One of our relationship (aka The Trials). We were up in our local mountains, hiking near Lake Arrowhead.
Allow me to set the scene…
We parked our car and took a stroll down a rather steep incline toward the river which eventually empties in to Lake Arrowhead. There was nobody around and since we were not on a hiking trail or close to any roads, we assumed we essentially had the place to ourselves.
That may have been our mistake.
As I recall, we had brought a lunch with us and planned a wee picnic by the river. We found what appeared to be the perfect spot for such an endeavor – a huge boulder sat vertically, blocking the road and everything else behind us. This boulder sat right next to an equally large boulder which lay horizontally. In effect, nature had given us a huge table upon which to sit and picnic.
And, of course, we being us – a huge table on which to exercise our carnal capabilities.
I should explain that The Old Man has a thing for outdoor sex. Take him out of doors and he gets an immediate rush to the trousers. This penchant of his has resulted in a lot of very fun hikes and road trips in our years together, I assure you. And frankly, we’re very lucky we haven’t ever been arrested for public indecency.
Did I mention this is TMI Thursday?
At any rate, on this particular day, we didn’t have actual sex…at least not in the Clintonian definition of the word. However, after we inhaled our little lunch…um…well, let’s just say I ended up on my knees in front of nature’s table, with my mouth full.
Being a little…preoccupied, I did not hear the guy walking around from behind the huge vertical boulder until he spoke to us.
“Hey. How you doin’?”
This is what the man said to us, as he made his way down to the river.
Upon hearing his voice, my head shot up and my hands went to cover my Old Man’s person (I am nothing if not considerate, after all).
Neither of us ever did answer his question, but our answer should have been, “Heh. A lot better than you, I’d wager.”
Oh how I wish I had a picture of this dude, because what I saw when I looked up was priceless.
He was a middle-aged white guy with a receding hairline and a slight pot belly, wearing a pair of tiny…turquoise…Speedos.
Once I swallowed my shame sufficiently to lift my head fully from the Old Man’s lap, I realized that Speedo Man was being followed by what I could only assume were his wife and daughter.
And then the question became - what in the world are you doing wearing those tiny turquoise Speedos in front of that child???
Really, the question should have been simply “What in the world are you doing wearing those tiny, turquoise Speedos?” just in general…but especially in front of, like, an eight year-old girl?!
So now, every time I look at the photo of my OM sitting on top of Nature’s Table, the huge vertical boulder behind him, a sweet and serene look on his face, I am reminded of the day I was caught eating dessert out of my Old Man’s trousers by a man in inappropriately tiny, turquoise Speedos.
It’s the little giggles which get me through the work day, peeps.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that I have a picture of The Old Man on my desk at work. In truth, I have several. There are a couple of the two of us on my bulletin board (including the one of us on top of his motorcycle, wearing Santa hats) and on my desk itself stands a large frame which houses four photographs of his righteous self. They were each taken outside and each during one of our various trips together and at various times in the last thirteen years (which means his hair is a lot less grey in a couple of them than it is now).
Generally speaking, these photos have essentially just become part of the furniture around here. They’ve been on my desk for years and The OM himself has been a part of my life for such a long time that it would be either insane or pathetic (or both) for me to sit and stare at the pictures for extended periods of time. Or any time, for that matter. However, I will on occasion take a gander at the hotness that is my beloved. And when I do so, one of these four photos makes me laugh almost every time.
It’s an older photo, taken during Phase One of our relationship (aka The Trials). We were up in our local mountains, hiking near Lake Arrowhead.
Allow me to set the scene…
We parked our car and took a stroll down a rather steep incline toward the river which eventually empties in to Lake Arrowhead. There was nobody around and since we were not on a hiking trail or close to any roads, we assumed we essentially had the place to ourselves.
That may have been our mistake.
As I recall, we had brought a lunch with us and planned a wee picnic by the river. We found what appeared to be the perfect spot for such an endeavor – a huge boulder sat vertically, blocking the road and everything else behind us. This boulder sat right next to an equally large boulder which lay horizontally. In effect, nature had given us a huge table upon which to sit and picnic.
And, of course, we being us – a huge table on which to exercise our carnal capabilities.
I should explain that The Old Man has a thing for outdoor sex. Take him out of doors and he gets an immediate rush to the trousers. This penchant of his has resulted in a lot of very fun hikes and road trips in our years together, I assure you. And frankly, we’re very lucky we haven’t ever been arrested for public indecency.
Did I mention this is TMI Thursday?
At any rate, on this particular day, we didn’t have actual sex…at least not in the Clintonian definition of the word. However, after we inhaled our little lunch…um…well, let’s just say I ended up on my knees in front of nature’s table, with my mouth full.
Being a little…preoccupied, I did not hear the guy walking around from behind the huge vertical boulder until he spoke to us.
“Hey. How you doin’?”
This is what the man said to us, as he made his way down to the river.
Upon hearing his voice, my head shot up and my hands went to cover my Old Man’s person (I am nothing if not considerate, after all).
Neither of us ever did answer his question, but our answer should have been, “Heh. A lot better than you, I’d wager.”
Oh how I wish I had a picture of this dude, because what I saw when I looked up was priceless.
He was a middle-aged white guy with a receding hairline and a slight pot belly, wearing a pair of tiny…turquoise…Speedos.
Once I swallowed my shame sufficiently to lift my head fully from the Old Man’s lap, I realized that Speedo Man was being followed by what I could only assume were his wife and daughter.
And then the question became - what in the world are you doing wearing those tiny turquoise Speedos in front of that child???
Really, the question should have been simply “What in the world are you doing wearing those tiny, turquoise Speedos?” just in general…but especially in front of, like, an eight year-old girl?!
So now, every time I look at the photo of my OM sitting on top of Nature’s Table, the huge vertical boulder behind him, a sweet and serene look on his face, I am reminded of the day I was caught eating dessert out of my Old Man’s trousers by a man in inappropriately tiny, turquoise Speedos.
It’s the little giggles which get me through the work day, peeps.
Ohhhhhhhh. I am so calling it "dessert" from now on. AWESOME.
Posted by: LiLu | Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 07:26 AM
That is awesome! It's like....I keep getting distracted my the Gross National Debt and the Cost of the Iraq War tickers....I think they should outlaw Speedos....."dessert"!
Posted by: Stephanie | Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 01:09 PM