the loser trifecta

Hello.

Yes, I know. It’s been a long time. Whatever, let’s move along.

Personal update: I have finally succeeded in my apparent attempts to become a total loser. Not only am I still unemployed, but I completed the Loser Trifecta in February by losing my apartment and my boyfriend, all in one fell swoop! So yay for me! 

I’m expecting the award any day now. It had to be sent out for engraving, you know.

There’s just ... not a lot to say about this development. It was inevitable. I made a choice to pursue writing as a career, in spite of the stress it was obviously putting on my finances and my relationship. I will only say that I am still content with that choice, even living as I am now in my brunette sister’s spare bedroom, down the hall from the most inconsiderate step-nephew one could ever imagine, and the various skanks he parades past my locked door on a nightly basis. 

So that says something.

On the subject of my employment (or lack thereof), I actually have been looking for a job. I started looking last September, as that was the one-year anniversary of my unemployment and I swore to devote one year solely to my writing. Let me tell ya ... and this may be a newsflash ... There are very few jobs out there, people. And nobody is responding to the resume’s I send for the few I do qualify for.

It’s kind of scary.

But let’s discuss what’s important. And no, I don’t mean the GOPs insane and inhumane budget proposals. I mean, of course, my novel. Or, more accurately my novels.

The Previous Fall, the one that started this whole thing for me two years ago, remains unfinished. I am getting back to work on it, however, with the assistance of the Writers Collective, a new program offered through Fictionista Workshop. Basically, I am in a group with two other writers. We exchange chapters each week and critique each others’ work. It is very much like the writers’ groups I already belong to, except that this one will be anonymous. 

Anyway, I am working on putting the final nails in that TPF coffin and hope to accomplish as much while working with the Collective.

The second novel—How to Write a Love Song—is still in its infancy. I have it all mapped out and know what I need to do; I just need to do it.

The honest truth is, though, that I haven’t been writing much for a few months. As inferred by the introductory paragraphs in this post, my life has been in a bit of upheaval lately. That seems to have caused a bit of numbness to set in and while a bit of numbness might make it easier to get through a meal without bursting into tears, it doesn’t lend itself to much fine writing. So I really hope the Collective group will provide the inspiration and the renewed excitement I need right now.

Though, honestly? From what I’ve seen the first couple of weeks, I am not all that optimistic.

I am much more so about the Collective group that I am serving as moderator for. Yes, I am serving as a Moderator for a group, as well as writing in another. When you don’t have a job, you see, you can over-commit with less anxiety about doing so.

Anyway, the writers in that group all seem very enthusiastic and have been actively involved so far and all signs point to WIN there.

So life is ... interesting right now. I’m nervous. There is part of me that knows I am doing the right thing and that I am on the right track; that there is far more to life than wine clubs and a fancy house and a 401k and that I was living a lie for far too long. Then there is part of me that looks at that little spot on my arm which I’d really like to get checked out and wonders if I’ll ever have health insurance again or if I’m bound to die of untreated skin cancer because I have squandered my savings and my lame-as-it-was career on some pipe dream of becoming a novelist when I have absolutely no talent and I’m insane to think anyone wants to read what I have to say.

In other news, on Wednesday I am going to Tahoe for a few days with some friends—Annalyse Knight and Erica (ericastwlight). We are all poor, but the room is free and we’re all a blast to hang out with, so who cares about money? I am really looking forward to it.

Comments

[Laura Kreitzer]

I think you are awesome, btw! And I can't wait to read your work. Perhaps I'll publish it if you'll let me. <3<3 Sorry you've had a shit time.

[ikss]

See? This is why I compose these crappy, self-indulgent posts. They encourage nice people to be nice to me. :)